Bordering Potential and Question

I usually live comfortably and peaceably in the realm of potential. I can operate, make decisions, and feel secure just thinking of possibilities. It helps that I am an optimist. In my world, there are often several what if, and let’s try and maybe I’ll sentences floating around alongside rainbows and butterflies.

It has been a bit of a struggle in some of my relationships. My mom, for example, is a realist. Her first question to me as I expound on ideas and destinations has almost always been, But what if it doesn’t work, what is your plan B? She recently realized I never have an answer to the question and doesn’t voice it as frequently, but the weight of the question still hangs in the room as I talk to her.

I don’t really believe in plan B’s. I believe in faith and action and looking fear in the face and spitting a little as you tell him/her off.

All that said, today I am struggling with my realm of floating, ethereal potential. I am craving something tangible and secure to enter my life.

What is causing all this overwhelmed concern? As much as I love potential – I am not a big fan of question marks.

The difference is slight. In potential the world is at your fingertips. Life is a hedonistic approach of self-defining and fulfillment. Success and failure are obscure and relative.

With questions the rug is pulled out from under your feet – or may be at any minute. ย There is not enough time, or maybe too much. ย Balance is off.

In potential you are reaching for the stars, in question life is falling through your fingers.

It doesn’t help that my to-do lists for school and Eye See and life in general are multi-page, multi-level and reproducing like rabbits.

I need a vacation. Or another intern. Or maybe just a brew with a bestie.

 

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