Fragments of an Entangled Mind

Ever have a hard time getting your thoughts in order? I feel like I have been running 100 different directions and I can’t find anywhere for my thoughts to land. I just need to get some things down, in no order at all and without any understanding of how these things are going to turn out in hopes that placing them out of my brain and onto a screen will reveal some truths and bring some peace to the entanglement in my head.

I think in busy times I need twice the quiet times. I need enough time to calm my thoughts and then enough time to enjoy the calm. I haven’t been building this into my schedule lately so I am having a hard time sorting things and it makes it hard to communicate, hard to dedicate and hard to commit to what others are asking of me. I just don’t see any space, so I can’t figure out how it will all work. I think I need to protect my head space a little better.

I think my fragments are starting to war with each other. I have been trying to spin a bunch of plates all at once and, for a while, it was almost fun. Now, I have realized the plates are wobbling and I am getting tired of keeping them going. I just need a few to pause. Not crash, not fall to the side in shards, just pause for a minute so I can take care of some things well and move to the next plate.

What do you do when you really, really believe in something? Do you push for it, fight for it and work all your strength in to making it happen? Or do you wait, watch and find stillness in the belief alone? Do you bide your time and strategize, or do you explode with excitement and bring others into it before they even know what happened? Do you set yourself out there even if it means you might be proven wrong? Or do you wait for others to confirm and then jump on board once you’re sure you aren’t alone? Do you ask others to come with you, no matter what the relationships have looked like in the past? (Do you like all these vague questions?)

How do you spend “you” time when there is so many other things that need to be done!?!?!


3 thoughts on “Fragments of an Entangled Mind

  1. Great post that I can relate with. I really liked the lines, “I just need a few to pause. Not crash, not fall to the side in shards, just pause for a minute so I can take care of some things well and move to the next plate.” In addition, I love your series of thoughts at the end. These are the questions that plague anyone who has ever had passion or intelligent thought.

    Your last sentence and question proves to be the simplest answer, in my opinion…although it is anything but “simple,” just precise in its definition. You just have SPEND that you time. No matter what is in the way. You need to take the time to nourish your soul. If you’re stressed out, look back on your day or your week and try to estimate how much time, in hours, you spent nourishing your soul. Answer: You probably need more but hopefully you got some time in.

    David Lynch cites a quote, somewhere along the lines of “every hour of good painting requires three hours of uninterrupted time.” That’s tough to accomplish with a life and a job and a relationship and family and obligations…tough but no less true. Find your time and make it work! Great post. Thank you for unloading it to the screen.

  2. I related strongly with your words and that sort of desperation when the world is running too fast and you know you need time to stop and breathe and collect. I use the word settle a lot. I read a book called something Quiet; the Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking. I think I have that right. Actually I still haven’t finished it but it rang so true to me, how and why I need that time. It made me think it’s ok, it’s the way I am and it’s fine and sometimes good. Do you think you’re similar? Your vague questions were intriguing.!

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