Okay, Okay. For the last few weeks this blog has gotten a little skewed towards things like relationships, marriage, and all the crazy that comes out of us when we are trying to navigate such things. I have attempted to highlight some theories I have on broken relationships, I have made fun of myself and my crazy, and I have shared other people’s wise thoughts, but all this talk can give off the impression that something is wrong with being single! I don’t think so!
For this post in the 100 days challenge I decided to explore the reasons that I adore being single. I may be looking forward (occasionally) to that bubble-bursting life commitment of marriage, but that doesn’t mean I am not happy and content about today and all that is at my fingertips because I am currently not in a long-term, life-defining nuptial. Off the top of my head, in no particular order, with varying degrees of depth and insight, here are some things I love about being single:
1. I don’t have to go places I don’t want to go! I am not dragged down to the hunting store to see dead animals hanging on walls. I don’t have to sit through movies or concerts that aren’t my style. I have every authority to just say no to an invitation that doesn’t suit me and feel very little pressure to compromise if I just simply don’t want to go.
2. My budget need only sustain one. Full stop.
3. My decisions aren’t (usually) challenged. This is a good place for community, but things like my schedule and what I have for dinner don’t have to filter through anyone else. Bigger decisions are a great place for friends and wise council, but the daily thoughts and tasks about life are left to me to walk in independently and healthily.
4. I have lots of time for lots of people. Right now I can schedule out coffees, happy hour and dinner dates with people every day if I want. I can connect with and pour into all kinds of lives and not worry about how much I am home or not home or who is getting the bulk of my time. I can receive wisdom and mentorship from various figures in my life because I have time and am not limited.
5. I can support my friends without hesitation. Need a house-sitter? A dog-walker? To borrow an air mattress? To borrow some dollars? Need a weekend away for your sanity? A long phone conversation without interruption? Need to ask someone for help that doesn’t have to ask anyone else if it is okay? Yeah, I can do those things. Because I love to, because I want to and because I can!
6. I can mess up. From something small like burning dinner to something large like trying a new career or city, I can take a risk and not be worried at how it affects another person. In short, I can grow by trying and grow as much as I want.
7. I can be in school! I may be perpetually in school and need to learn to navigate this in a marriage someday, but at least right now I can do it on my schedule. I stay up until midnight, I work on papers on Saturdays, I spend 5 or 6 hours in a coffee shop and it is 100% kosher. I can better myself and my mind without reluctance.
8. I can dive into friendships. Building strong and healthy community may be one of the best parts of being single.
9. I have time. I have time to listen, time to pray, time to read, time to observe, time to sleep in, time to write, time to explore, time to be.
10. I can really work on my shit. While no one is directly and continually suffering the fall-out, I can dive into my psyche, my problems, my strange way of looking at the world and deal with it. I can heal and find freedom. I can become more healthy and more real. I can shed the layers of pain, hurt, abuse, shame, mistake, failure and control with resolve and intention that soothes my soul and honors my Maker.
11. I can grow in the way I love people. While I am single I can look to the needs of others and learn to be aware, be present and respond to who they are and what they need. I can learn to love others well and explore the depths of the love we have been given to pour out. I can learn to listen to needs and really hear someone. I can learn to sit and be with someone that is hurting.
12. I can learn true generosity. Today I can give whatever I have in the bank to a homeless man on the street. I can learn to give of my things, my money, and walk in faith. I can buy gifts, support a child, and intentionally change the world through generosity. No one else is involved in my generosity. I can own it and be the fiercely generous person I want to be.
13. I can travel. Passport or full-tank, I have no reason to not board the plane, or start that drive. I have no schedules to adjust outside of my own, and only one person’s culture shock to navigate 🙂 Not to mention the extreme value in experiencing something all your own and deeply changing to the soul.
I am sure there are many more! What are your reasons to love being single?