If I am going to sort through some of the most prominent and important things going through my head and heart as I step steadily towards the brilliant age of 31, I fear I will do no justice to any of it if I don’t touch on the subject of Love. It would be like lying, the epitome of beating around the bush, if I forsook it.
But where do I begin to embrace this tender subject with words on a virtual page that will be read by unknown readers and requires no response…but also allows them…?
Where do I start, considering to most my past is a mystery, excepting a few brave and loyal souls and the spattering of hearts that have been with me on the journey?
What do I say when I know there are things that have been left unsaid and untold…?
I suppose it is best to start by admitting the following:
I believe in Love.
I believe in the kind of love that warrants risk and holds on in the face of fear.
I believe in the kind of love that digs deeper as time passes and is willing to bend and move and shift to accompany another’s life.
I believe in the kind of love that multiplies already fruitful lives and takes on both the exciting and the mundane.
I also believe that Love is difficult sometimes, timing has a whole lot to do with it, and the act of two people making the decision to stick with each other at the same time is a bit of a miracle (at least it feels like a miracle to this girl).
I wonder sometimes where this love is for me – a reasonable question for a single 30-year-old woman, I think. But, I have no regrets. I believe the risks I have taken and the relationships I have been granted have been beautiful sneak peeks into an even more beautiful potential. I believe the difficult conversations have served to help me grow as a kind and gracious woman (albeit by revealing a lack of kindness and grace sometimes). Not only that, but I have been extremely honored by the quality of men that have crossed my path and paused for a minute, even if one or both of us decided to move on.
But all that still leaves me single and 30….nearly 31…and that raises some questions and fingers want to point and insecurity lurks. What is a girl to do?
I think I will tackle Love in a few different posts, so not to overwhelm myself…or you with my rambling.